From the second I picked up the book, I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids: Reinventing Modern Motherhood by Trisha Ashworth and Amy Nobile, I was hooked! I quickly identified with these ladies when in the first chapter, they discuss waiting until the clock ticks 4:00 p.m., then they grabbed their glass of wine, and called eachother! I adore that these gals have opened up and given moms everywhere the hall pass to be REAL!

One of my favorite chapters in the book was Chapter 3 “You can have it all. Just not all at once.” My Mom has said that very same quote to me for many years. To this day, I say it to my own kids! When Amy and Trisha reaaffirm this very wise wisdom, they are talking about the choices we make as mothers- to stay at home, to work, to enroll your kids in all types of “enrichment” and sports or not, and how we pummel ourselves with mallets of guilt on a daily basis over the choices we make. In this chapter, they have lined out “6 easy steps for making peace with your choices”. It is not an exaggeration to say that this literally had a positive, immediate  impact in my life. Being a stay-at-home-work-at-home-working mother myself, I see my choices in life constantly tossed around before me, “Am I doing the best for my kids?” “Am I working enough to help support my family?” “Am I working too much?” Amy and Trisha had some very valuable advice to offer: ”Realize that expectaions can influence your choices. Make sure your making conscious decisions based on what you really want, not what is expected of you.” And with that, I have decided that when I second guess myself and my choices, I will ask myself, “Is this what I really want? Or am I doing this because I think I should?” Then I can move on with life- no guilt, no questions asked! We can ALL take something from that!

Doing my research....in my pj's still at 11:25 a.m.! 2 empty coffee cups on my desk!

Throughout the book, there are hilarious “Dirty Little Secrets” that remind every mom that a mom out there somewhere feels exactly like she does! Whether it’s “I don’t know how to ask for help. I just know how to scream at my husband.” or “Sometimes I think, I can’t believe I gave up nine months of drinking for this!”, the admissions of various moms are downright make- you- laugh -so -hard -you- have -to- kegel -once or twice funny!

While I'm writing, my kids have taken every single kitchen utensil into the family room to play "kitchen"....oh, well- keeps them busy!

Finally, the end of the book talks about something that I am passionately involved in teaching other moms, “When you say Mom, it leaves a lot unsaid about you, Honor your whole self.” AMEN, Ladies! You are preaching to the choir! I have been stamping my feet, standing on my soapbox, stark raving blaring about this topic for years, and you both so eloquently and candidly put it into words. I have so much admiration for both of you for doing so, and every single mother will become a better mother, after taking the time to take care of themselves. And by devoting a chapter to this in your book, it’s lifting the “taboo” from taking ME time, or planning date nights, or feeling like you need to get away, because you might sell one of your kids Ebay to the highest bidder! At the end of the chapter is “10 simple ways to honor your whole self”, including “Focus on things that bring you joy” and “Remember who you are NOT. ‘Iam not my mother.’ ‘I am not my best friend.’….” Absolutely BRILLIANT advice!

I think that this book should be required reading for any new mother! Instead of gifting the ol’ “What to Expect…”, be downright positive that if you’re having a baby, and I’m invited to the shower, you’ll be getting this book! Amy and Trisha are beautiful, inspiring mothers, and their words and sincerity are a true gift!

"There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one." ~Jill Churchill