These two fabulously funny gals have done it again! When I read Dirty Little Secrets from Otherwise Perfect Moms by Trisha Ashworth and Amy Nobile, I laughed so hard, I had to kegel a few times to keep from peeing my pants!

This book is chock-full of hilarious sayings, thoughts, and confessions from real moms all over the country. I could relate to all of them, and it just made me feel so good to know that I am not alone in some of my deranged, yet humorous thoughts about motherhood, my kids, or my marriage!

There were a few quotes that really shined for me, and I think that the woman who came up with this one should win some sort of Nobel Motherhood Prize (yes- there really should be one!): “When I’m at Safeway, I buy a Nordstrom gift card and charge it as groceries. I can justify it that way.” ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT!!! Not only can I justify it that way, but to anyone else (i.e.- Husbands!)- it is just groceries- shopping spree guilt and hiding bags under the kid’s double stroller in the trunk of my car, no more! Very sage advice, fellow Mama!

Here’s another one of my faves: “I hate the way my husband chews. I can hear it from a mile away.” Yes, I can personally relate to this one too! The Husband is a fabulous man, but when he chews his food, he lets his back teeth bang together, and I can hear it grind every time he chews, I feel like screaming, “How are you not aware that your back teeth are banging together in your head for the love of God and everything holy!?!?” at the very top of my lungs! But, after reading this fabulous guilty pleasure of a book, I know I am not alone! There is some other woman out there who listens to her husband chew, and a little fire is burning inside of her, and her blood pressure is rising at the thought of his loud chewing!

This one, I’ve done many, many times: “I threw out a pair of my daughter’s shoes that she loved and told her I couldn’t find them.” My daughter will constantly wear shoes that are at least 3 sizes too small. She is obsessed with shoes- her feet will be black and blue with welts and blisters from too-small shoes, and she will insist on wearing them. So, when she takes a nap, I toss them in the Goodwill bag, then throw the bag way up high in the garage, so she’ll never know that her favorite mangy, too-small shoes are not missing, they are just strategically mis-placed!

I think that every mother should own a copy of this gem! It will make you feel like you’re not so bad, or if you’re like me, you’ll read each and every page, and think “I’m so glad I’m not the only one who does that!” It is a true treasure, and many kudos to Ms. Ashworth and Ms. Nobile for bringing real motherhood to center stage!

I’m sure most every woman has had to deal with this issue….the Urinary Tract Infection (UTI). NOT FUN! Thankfully, I haven’t had one in a long time since I have taken several precautionary steps to avoid them (I am trying to find something made of wood to knock on as I write this)! Thankfully, modern science has brought us farther than in our Mother’s years, where the standard advice was “Drink cranberry juice and don’t have sex until you’re married”!

The best place that I have found to get advice today about UTI’s and how to treat or prevent them is from www.cystex.com. There, Dr. Elizabeth Kavaler answers questions, dispells myths, and writes an informational blog about UTI’s and how to prevent them. Thankfully, Cystex
is available over-the-counter, and eliminates the need for the UTI drug of the past that stained your pee (and probably a few favorite pairs of underwear!) a Tang-hued orange. Cystex does not change the color of your urine, and it is a combination of a pain-relieveing analgesic and an antibacterial to help control the bacteria, until you can be seen by the doctor.

 Upon reading the Cystex website, I learned a few things that I have never heard of that can potentially cause UTI’s. One fact that really suprised me was that when you are using a tampon, you should remove it before urinating. In all of my nearly 33 years, I’ve never heard of that! But, hey- if it helps me to prevent the agonizing pain, and dashing to the bathroom every 26 seconds, amongst other less than fab UTI symptoms, I’m all for it! Bravo to a company that is directly addressing the needs of women in a setting that makes it easy to connect and answer questions!

I have found yet another item to add to my “get out of the house with the kids as fast as I can looking half-way decent” arsenal: Origin’s Zero Oil. This little potion does exactly what it says it will do, and provides a matte finish instantly, either under make-up, or over it.

Infused with natural oil-blotters, silicates and a light astringent, from the second I smooth it on my face, a matte finish appears, and it is not a stretch to say that it lasts all day. I have very oily skin that is also very sensitive, so I have a hard time using too many products on my face. With this little mini miracle worker, I just apply a pea-sized amount over my nose, chin and forehead after I cleanse and moisturize, and the oily slick is kept at bay!