“Life shouldn’t be printed on dollar bills”.  ~Clifford Odets

That is my belief when it comes to money… and that the more you make, the more you spend, and that you will always have debt, and owe something to someone, so not to let finances get in the way of living life. I know firsthand that I have a less than healthy attitude toward money. I’ve read the Suze Orman books, I’ve read several “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” books, I know what the experts say, and what money should be, and how it should be respected, but I still loathe it. I am disguested when there’s “not enough” of it to do something I want to do, especially if it will enrich my life, or my children’s. I despise when it is money that causes a huge canyon to rip through what is generally a happy, loving and healthy relationship with the Husband. I can easily state that 99% of our fights are wretchedly rooted beneath a discussion about money, or lack thereof.

Why is that? It is said that money is one of the top five reasons that people file for divorce. Sometimes it’s “money infedelity”- where one spouse spends wrecklesly, while lying or covering it up to the other. Sometimes, it’s just that two can’t agree on money, so they just fight about it incessantly, or ignore it all together, until it just snowballs out of control, and then they’re in so much debt and financial dispair that they can’t even get their heads above water to create a solution.

According to financial advisor and guru, Dave Ramsey, there are ways to talk about money in a marriage. The following outline is a guide that I think is particularly helpful:

Don’ts

• Don’t attack your spouse
• Don’t bring other issues into the conversation
• Don’t accuse by saying “you never” or “you always”
• Don’t assume that the person who makes all the money has all the say so in how it’s spent.

Do’s

• Have difficult money talks when it’s convenient for both of you. If your partner is tired or involved with something else, wait until a better time.
• Discuss your attitudes about money and encourage your partner to do the same. It will help the two of you understand some of the deep-rooted issues that are causing conflict.

Easier said than done, but good advice, nonetheless.