It has been so long since I’ve had a chance to write! I’ll tell you- I’ve missed it tremendously! But here’s the deal: when you’re a busy Mom, everything that you juggle and balance on a regular basis, is like juggling glass balls- as long as you can keep everything balanced and centered- you can keep them all going. But, what happens when one crashes to the floor and shatters? It’s going to affect your concentration, your balance and your ability to keep all of the other glass balls from breaking. My shattered glass ball as of late, is my Grandfather. He is very close to me and my children, and he has been very ill, and in and out of the hospital for nearly three weeks.

It’s been a real struggle for me to write because of my lack of time, mostly. From balancing my family and my full-time job, every minute in between has been spent helping my Grandpa, or supporting other family members, since this is a really tough time on all of us. I’ve also struggled, because I love to make people laugh, I like to be funny! But, this is a website devoted to real women and real mothers, and let’s face it- real life just ain’t funny all the time!

So, bear with me, dear Mamas! Hopefully through my experience, you can learn a few tips on how to juggle the glass balls, even when it seems impossible. I have learned a few tricks to coping with daily life, while facing a family crisis that I’d like to share with you:

1. Reign in your resources: I’m very blessed to have a wide network of friends and family members. One very loving girlfriend is a healthcare social worker, and has offered me advice about home-nursing, and different programs for elderly patients. Another has offered to pick my daughter up from school, so that I can stay longer at the hospital. Yesterday a family member talked with me for a long time about how she dealt with this when it was her own father, and gave me a better perspectiveon what was happening. Appreciate your friends being there for you, and allow them to offer their help or comforting advice. Don’t try to do it all- one person just can’t.
2. Be thankful: When faced with crisis, it is so easy to go into pity party mode, or even worse, anger mode. The best medicine to combat this unhealthy behavior is to literally stop it in it’s track, and turn the negative thought into a thought of thankfulness. While it’s common for me to think, “I’m not ready to lose my Grandpa yet! I’m so pissed that he is in so much pain- why is this happening to our family?” I force myself to stop, and redirect. “I’m thankful to have a Grandpa I’m so close to. I’m thankful for the closeness of our family. I’m thankful for a husband that helps me through all of the ups and downs in life.” It calms me, it relaxes me, and I can instantly feel the tightness, and heart-pounding anxiety leave my body.
3. Exercise: It seems almost ridiculous to try to fit in time to exercise while facing a crisis. But, believe me- if you can even fit in 10 minutes to stretch, breathe deeply, and feel your body move and relax, it makes a huge difference in your ability to cope with stress and anxiety. Some days it’s a 20-minute pilates DVD, and other days it’s just parking a little farther in the hospital parking lot, and walking the long way around to get my heart going, and the good endorphins going through my body. Yesterday, I just closed my eyes, plugged my ears with my MP3 player, and punched the air for 10 minutes, getting out all of the frustration and anxiety that I’d been harboring- I swear, it was more calming to me than any Xanax or other chemical that I’ve tried to dull my nerves!
4. Find time for fun: Even if it’s just an hour, or a whole afternoon, force yourself to find time for fun. If all you are doing is immersing yourself in the midst of the crisis, it’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. And some tunnels, we just have no control over, and it seems like an eternity before you can see the light. So, in order to help you keep perspective, keep positive, and keep strong, find time for fun. Go out to dinner, laugh, dance, sing, read a funny story, ask a friend to tell you a funny and/or dirty joke- anything to take you out of crisis mode at least for a little while. Then when you come back to the problem, you have a renewed energy and ability to make good decisions.

I’ll be in touch as often as I can- thank you for the amazing gift of friendship, of laughter, and for letting me share!