Yay! School starts for my kids in 2 weeks, one day, seven hours and 46 minutes!!!! Unlike a lot of my counterparts in our rather affluent area of residence, I have not had the privilege of having my kids in any type of summer program this year. I even entertained the thought of pretending that I was religious, maybe Catholic or Jewish-  just for a week, if it meant that my kids could go to free vacation bible school and give me a flippin’ break for a few hours. But, I bit the bullet, entertained, refereed and wrangled my kids for an entire summer, and lived to tell about it. We did have some really fun days, like the two days we went swimming at my girlfriends house, or the day we went to San Francisco and walked all over the city. We also did cool stuff like play on the trampoline in the backyard, and go on bike rides. I worked very hard on being “present”, and also at not screaming, “stop pestering your brother/sister!” at the top of my lungs, five times a day.

One day, at the grocery store, I overheard two women talking. Neither had one kid trying to hang from the door handle in the freezer aisle, while the other kid was precariously reaching for crazy straws and about to knock the whole shopping cart over, like my two kids were. They were carefree and kid-free, meandering aimlessly, and very trophy-wifely around the store. The perfectly coiffed and svelte blonde lady said to the chic-even-in-yoga-pants-still-perfectly-made-up-even-after-the-gym brunette lady, “I am SO ready for school to start! Between Sophia’s ballet camp, princess camp, math enrichment camp and get-ready-for-preschool camp, and Maddie’s little genius camp, gymnastics camp, and after-school-even-when-there-is-no-school-club, I am just so tired of my kids!” The brunette lady retorted, “RII-IGHT??? I totally understand what you’re going through! After we summer’ed in St. Thomas for three weeks, on the weekend of the last week, our nanny had to visit her family in Mexico, and we had to deal with our kids for two whole days THEN the entire flight home! Can you imagine? The nerve of her…” “Tsk…tsk…tsk”, the blonde lady answered as she shook her head in disbelief. I literally stood there, with my kids wrecking shop in the grocery store, and my mouth completely agape.

If you can afford to have your kids in all-day camps every day for three months, “summer” in St. Thomas with a nanny, spend your days getting your hair done, doing Zumba, tanning, getting mani-pedi’s, going to luncheons, and having your ass waxed, more power to you. In fact a small part of me is green with envy, okay, I am totally Gumby-green, I am so jealous. But, at the end of the summer, I can take a deep breath, march my kids to their first day of school, and walk back to my empty car with the satisfaction of  knowing that the three of us- we created memories, Man! We survived summer, we conquered the long, hot days, and my kids are still alive after three months of fighting with each other and whining to me that they’re bored. I have new badges to add to my ” mother-stripes” on my lapel. I should win some type of award for surviving a summer with no break from my 5 and 7 year old.

In fact, I have decided that I am grateful for my last summer with my crazy kids, before my little one goes to Kindergarten, and my oldest goes to 2nd grade. Yes, there were days I ripped my hair out (literally), tears were shed, wine was poured, and a Prozac prescription was filled, but my kids will always have the memories that we made this summer. I wouldn’t trade it to be either of the ladies at the grocery store… well, maybe just for one day.